I have a mezuzah

At the finish of STARS, Natasha* decided that it was time to get to putting that mezuzah up on her door already; we have been talking about his for weeks, but somehow it never materialized.

On Tuesday, Natasha picked me up and together we drove across town to her apartment. We were greeted by her pet turtles, which really freaked me out because I didn't know that she owned pet turtles. Not that I have anything against turtles. On the contrary, I discovered that turtles are harmless creatures, with ugly heads. They live in a little bucket in her bathroom. I can now dispel the myth of the slow-moving turtle. Boy, did that thing run when it heard me come in.

Natasha lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. Renovated. Beautiful view. Her buffet boasts her recently purchased Jewish library - a chumash, a tehillim, a siddur. In her freezer, she proudly told me, is kosher chicken, which, she has noticed, tastes much better than the non-kosher varieties.

We watched the turtles for a while, talked a bit, and then got down to business.

I pulled out the mezuzah, and she said the blessing. Me measured the door, and placed the mezuzah on the bottom of the top third of the door post, tilting inwards. Our mezuzahs, unfortunately, come with pre-stuck on tape, so there are no banging of nails to make the mezuzah placing ceremony more ceremonious. We pulled off the tape and stuck the mezuzah on.

And that was it.

And that was everything.

When we left the apartment a little while later, Natasha gingerly reached up and gave the mezuzah a kiss.

*not her real name. Names, in this post and most others, have been changed to protect the innocent.