The Discovery Channel, or My Trip to New York

I discovered lots of things on this trip of mine from Vladivostok to New York.

I discovered that whoever coined the phrase 'getting there is half the fun' never traveled in Russia. I can also guarantee that he never traveled with two little kids. And he definitely never traveled with two kids in Russia.

I discovered why G-d, in His infinite wisdom, endowed human beings with two arms and two legs. The amazing anatomy of the human body allows tow kids to sit on one lap for nine-and-a-half hour flights, plus extra time for takeoff problems like people smoking in the lavatory, when the airlines NEGLECT TO GIVE YOU A BASSINET, and an exhausted toddler insists on being held.

I discovered that airlines like to give your stroller as the LAST PIECE OF LUGGAGE, maybe because they like watching you struggle with your toddler, baby, and two handbags.

I discovered that, believe it or not, Russians are much nicer to people traveling with babies. They offer to help and hold the baby and push you to the front of the line, unlike Americans who PUSH IN FRONT OF YOU IN LINE while you are holding a baby, a toddlers hand, and wearing a briefcase and handbag.

I discovered that it is not a good idea to lose your passport. And if you do lose it, please don't lose it in Russia. Because you have to have really good connections for the Russians to grant you permission to LEAVE THE COUNTRY on a new passport.

It was that kind of trip. 9.5 hours of flying, then waiting for luggage, going into Moscow for the night, back to the airport in the morning, losing our passports, getting new passports at the embassy, going back to the airport, waiting for the late plane because the stewardesses showed up late, another 9.5 hours of flying. . .

It was the kind of trip that made me think: Remind me why I'm flying to New York. And remind me why I'm flying alone. And finally, remind me why we chose to live in Vladivostok, which sometimes feels like the absolute farthest place on the map.

It's a good thing we will be here for long enough for me to forget exactly how tough the trip was.